Formal Letter (Descriptive Reflection)

Revised 12/05/2020 

Dear Professor Brad

 

My name is Toh Jing Kai. I am currently studying Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services) at the Singapore Institute of Technology. My purpose in writing this letter is to introduce myself for the module, SIE 2016 Effective Communication.

Since young, I have been curious about how things work. My father fixes appliances as a hobby and I was fascinated by how the interior or concepts of different products were materialized. I grew to love science as days passed, and ultimately studied mechanical engineering in Singapore Polytechnic. In year 3, I took energy as a specialization module where I gained a deeper understanding of renewable energy, leading me towards enrolling in my current undergraduate program. Fate decided my connection to engineering was not over. During my national service, I was posted to artillery vocation where I learned the basics of how radars work and got a chance to test it in Thailand during an overseas exercise. I was also tasked with essential weekly maintenance of the radar.

In terms of communication, I feel comfortable conversing with my friends and can be witty at times. My friends know me as a person who comes up with puns and even got me a call sign, “punisher". In terms of public speaking, I lack confidence in presenting my ideas which might show in my body language or fluency. I find it awkward to maintain eye contact with my audience during presentations, which in turn reflects that I am a poor presenter.

What I hope to accomplish in the effective communication module is to refine my communication skills by assimilating skills imparted to me. This could be made possible by actively participating in class assignments and group discussions. Building my confidence would be the next goal I would like to achieve. This could be done by voicing out my opinions and thoughts. I am certain that under your guidance I would be molded into my ideal self.

 

Best regards

Toh Jing Kai



I have commented on the following bloggers' post: Bryan, Sebastian, Atiqah

Comments

  1. Chubby_girl17 September 2020 at 22:32

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chubby_girl17 September 2020 at 22:44

      Interesting that you are so passionate about science. I hope you can learn more technical knowledge through this programme.

      Delete
    2. JK Toh8 October 2020 at 09:26

      Dear Chubby_girl

      Thank you for the comment and wishes. I hope this course is of interest to you as well.

      Best regards
      Jing Kai

      Delete
  2. Sebastian17 September 2020 at 22:55

    I am glad that your specialization module in energy has led you to SIE Building services. With more preparation and practice in your public speaking skills, I am sure that you will be confident in presenting your ideas to the class!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JK Toh6 October 2020 at 00:13

      Dear Sebastian

      Thank you for reading my blog post and thank you for the kind encouragement you have given me.

      Best regards
      Jing Kai

      Delete
  3. Brad Blackstone17 September 2020 at 23:27

    Thanks for the good effort with this letter, JinKai. I look forward to seeing more substantial feedback from your blogging group members, and then I will comment further.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JK Toh6 October 2020 at 00:14

      Dear Professor Brad

      Thank you for reading through my blog post. I look forward to your comments on my reflective response.

      Best regards
      Jing Kai

      Delete
  4. Bryan19 September 2020 at 20:50

    Dear Jing Kai,

    Thank you for sharing with me more about yourself through this letter, and through this letter I was able to learn more about you as a person and as a friend. I am writing to share with you on my thoughts for your letter.
    Before I start to share with you my thoughts on your letter, I would like to say that your letter has answer the questions that was tasked to us. Firstly, I would like to start of with the content of the letter, I felt that your letter content was well thought out, with each paragraph meeting its objective of sharing with us who you are and what made you interested in joining sustainable infrastructure engineering with concrete evidence that it was due to the module you took in year 3, as well as the fated reunion to artillery during your national service time.

    Secondly, for the organization of your letter, I felt that your letter has a smooth flow where you started saying what made you interested in engineering in the start, and it sparked your interest to join sustainable infrastructure engineering due to the module you have taken, it was a seeming less flow to see how it begin since the start and what made your interest grew more as time went by.

    Lastly, for language, you had a typo error in your last paragraph’s last line, where you said that ‘I am certain that under your guidance I would be molded into my ideal self’ for the worded ‘molded’, you missed out the letter ‘u’ where it should be spelled as moulded.
    Just like you, my dad also fixes appliances but it is for his work, it also made me grew my interest in this field since young, so I would be able to relate to how you feel when you join this course, and it is nice to hear that there is someone the same similarities as me.

    Hope to be able to hear more of you puns in class!

    Yours sincerely,
    Bryan Lim

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JK Toh8 October 2020 at 09:22

      Dear Bryan

      Thank you for reading through my writing. I have taken the time to look at your comments and will makes amendments to my post if necessary. It is great to hear that your father fixes appliances as well and that we have something in common.

      Best regards
      Jing Kai

      Delete
  5. Sebastian19 September 2020 at 23:30

    Dear Jing Kai,

    Thank you for your letter. I am glad that your specialization module in energy has led you to SIE Building services. You have an interesting backstory on why you eventually chose SIE Building services as an undergraduate course to enroll in. However, you lack point 4: what differentiates you from others.

    Here are a few points that may be of value to you:

    - “…Engineering (Building Services) at the Singapore Institute of Technology.” ➜ “Singapore Institute of Technology” is a name, not a noun, so “in” should be used instead of “at the”. “at the” is used in front of a noun, such as “school”.
    - “…energy, leading me towards enrolling in my current undergraduate program.” ➜ “enrolling” can be replaced with “my enrollment”
    - “However, in terms of public speaking I lack confidence…” ➜ In my opinion, there should be a comma after “speaking”.
    - “I find it awkward to maintain eye contact with my audience during presentations which in turn reflect as a poor presenter.” ➜ (Reflect what as a poor presenter?) Missing a pronoun “me” after “as a”. In my opinion, “reflect” should be plural, as your action of finding it awkward to maintain eye contact is singular.


    I hope you value my feedback.

    Best regards,
    Sebastian

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JK Toh8 October 2020 at 09:23

      Dear Sebastian

      Thank you for reading through my writing. I have taken the time to look at your comments and will makes amendments to my post if necessary.

      Best regards
      Jing Kai

      Delete
  6. Brad Blackstone3 October 2020 at 19:52

    Dear Jing Kai,

    Thank you for this well written letter. You address the key requirements of the assignment and add quite a bit of detail to illustrate your points. I welcome the good fluency of ideas and your confidence that the module can help facilitate your growth. I also appreciate learning about how you developed your interest and experience in engineering.

    You've also received useful feedback from your peers. Be sure to acknowledge your peers' input.

    In terms of language use, here are some areas to take note of:

    1. verb use
    -- I grow to love science as days passed, > (verb tense)
    -- I feel comfortable conversing with my friends and could be witty at times. > (verb tense)
    -- which in turn reflect as a poor presenter > ?

    2. punctuation
    -- However, in terms of public speaking I lack confidence in presenting my ideas which might show in my body language or fluency. > (use of commas -- or lack thereof)
    -- I find it awkward to maintain eye contact with my audience during presentations which in turn reflect as a poor presenter. > (comma?)

    I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JK Toh8 October 2020 at 09:28

      Dear Professor Brad

      Thank you for your feedback on my descriptive reflection. I have read through your comments and will make the necessary amendments to it.

      Best regards
      Jing Kai

      Delete

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